


The Basic Understanding of Human Christmas Traditions

by Kaleuh



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-10
Updated: 2012-12-10
Packaged: 2017-11-20 19:17:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/588757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaleuh/pseuds/Kaleuh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At the first ever human-troll 12th Christmasagee's party, Karkat can't quite put cultural sensitivity above the confusion of certain things that humans do in order to get in the "holiday spirit"</p><p>Mistletoe is one of them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Basic Understanding of Human Christmas Traditions

**Author's Note:**

> A short story for this wonderful Christmas Writing Meme I'm doing! (Link here: http://celestialcow.tumblr.com/post/36455214490/youve-heard-of-the-25-days-of-christmas )
> 
> Number One happens to be mistletoe. Shenanigans ensued from there.  
> I would very much appreciate any critiques on everything from the descriptions to the portrayal of the characters- this is my first submission of many to come on here! I might go back and edit, i just need to post this i'm super tired ghjkl
> 
> I hope you enjoy! Happy Holidays!

Ah, yes. It was their first ever annual Christmas party. Or, 12th Perigee gathering. They decided collectively to hyphen the whole name to, “The-First-Ever-Annual-12th-Christmas-Perigee-Gathering”, on a makeshift banner, which barely fit the entire title at all. Yet cultural sensitivity was somewhat of the essence, to some of the humans. Most of everyone else didn’t care either way.

To think, it had been a whole human year since their session had ended! A picture perfect happily ever after; complete with dead friends coming back to life, and old friends reunited. They had multiple worlds of their own, now, and one big, giant castle for everyone to live together peacefully in complete and perfect harmony.

A certain troll mentally gags at the thought, but wouldn’t have it any other way as he swirls his cup of disgusting artificially-flavored alchemized fruit punch.  
Tinsel was strung around the small, cozy party hall. Greens and silvers and reds and golds decked the walls, an elegant holiday carpet was spread across the room. The warm colors of the place matched the feeling of the season with snack tables and colorful lights and elegantly oranamented seats. A newfound sense of togetherness seemed to sneak up upon him as he looked at the large group of unlikely companions.  
  
 _Laughter._  
 _Cheer._  
Horribly tacky and oversized sweaters that had ugly depictions of flying buckbeasts and magical chubby humans in a red suits that Karkat still did not understand at this point in time and just settled with the fact that humans were fucking weird.  
  
But the ever growing warmth that Karkat was feeling made even the most absurd of things sickeningly wonderful.  
With his back against the wall, he stood by from afar and watched Feferi giggle about putting reindeer horns over her own, John’s Dad bring in the last (of about a thousand) 12th Perigeesmas cakes, and everyone mingle in their own holiday joy.  
  
He couldn’t help but try to get in the spirit too, by donning his own plain, bright red sweater and a fuzzy, genuine, “Santa Claus” hat.  
Well, okay. It wasn’t his idea. In fact, he groaned at the idea of dressing casually in attire for a holiday that he didn’t even know half about. It all seemed silly, and pointless, and stupid, and he even  _told_  her this when she was “trying to get him in the spirit” and only did it because it seemed to make her so happy.  
  
Speaking of which  
Where was she anyway?  
  
“Careful!”  
His attention was quickly drawn to a ladder stacked with a Gamzee, a Tavros, and a Nepeta who seemed to be haphazardly hanging small, green ornaments on the ceiling of what could only be made out as..  
  
leaves?  
  
“Okay, right there, that’s perfect!”  
Speak of the devil.  
It seems that the director of this decorating frenzy would be the very girl who was currently responsible for the aforementioned big red sweater and dorky human Christmas hat.  
“Great job, guys! Hehe, we don’t need a lot! I think it would cause some problems if we put it everywhere!”  
She turned, and her eyes directly caught sight of his.  
“Karkat!”  
  
And there she was.  
Jade Harley, who was wearing a bright red dress with white cotton edges and a big, white bow in her hair,  _jingled_  a bit as she trotted over to the troll boy, who attempted to stand aloof while a certain feeling jumped inside him from the moment he saw her. He cleared his throat and straightened himself a bit.  
  
“Hi!” She chirped. As bright as ever. He wondered if it was simply the warmth of the holiday season or the soft flame from the nearby fireplace that made her seem to glow. He also pushed that thought aside like it was the god damn plague.  
  
“I see you took my Christmas-fashion advice,” she playfully tossed the ball of his hat over the other side of his head. “ _Fuckass_ ” she giggled.  
  
“Oh my god,” he drew a breath. “Have I ever told you that you’re a constant reminder of the word vomit I managed to regurgitate when I was six?” He sighed. Although it didn't _sound_ like it was all that long ago, it was still technically three years for the humans.  
“I wonder if the day will ever come when world-renouned adventurer, god,  _and scientist_  Jade Harley finds a better and more efficient way of expressing herself?  
‘Nuclear physicist Jade Harley renounces herself from the term ‘fuckass’ for the rest of her natural life! In fact, she will never even be using the words ‘fuck’ and ‘ass’ in any different context ever again! It is a god damn miracle! The whole world erupts with celebration for generations to come!’”  
  
“Oh, shut up!” she snorted and nudged him. “You know it’s only a term of endearment, Mr. Grumpy-horns.”  
“I’m aware, but it’s still stupid beyond my thinkpan’s capacity.”  
“I still catch you saying it sometimes!”  
“Hey, don’t get me started, alright? It’s been a long and painful fucking road to recovery and sometimes it just slips out, okay? It’s like when you were trying to stop using ‘XD’”  
“We don’t talk about that!!”  
“EXACTLY.”  
“But this is different! It’s our thing.”  
“…It is our thing.”  
  
Jade gave a toothy grin and Karkat couldn’t help but chuckle softly at the fact that it was their thing and would always be their thing so he would just have to deal with it forever but he didn’t quite mind that as much as he said he did.  
  
“Sooo, what do you think so far?” She showcased the sight of the decor with her hands. “What do I think?” He responded. She nodded.  
  
“I think human traditions are really fucking weird.”  
  
This earned him a, “pffff” from her as well as a dismissive hand wave.  
“No, I mean- they aren’t even that different from troll ones besides the fact that we decorate whatever mutilated beast our lusus brings us back to the hive instead of a giant tree, but things like your shitty mythological Christmas Gods such as ‘Santa’ and ‘Rudolph’ and-“  
He walked slightly toward the _slightly_ wobbling ladder that held three of his friends.  
  
“Things like this! What the fuck do  _leaves_  have anything to do with the spirit of giving? Or trees, for that matter- is there some kind of sacred cult meaning behind plants for humans that I’ve been missing here?”  
  
“Nooo Karkat! Those aren’t leaves! That’s mistletoe!”  
….  
“‘Mistletoe?’”  
  
Jade nodded.  
“…Okay, I restate the question in the name of CULTURAL SENSITIVITY; What the fuck is ‘mistletoe’?”  
Jade snickered as if there was some big secret joke that he didn’t know about and seemed ready with an explanation.  
“Well, it’s another ‘weird human tradition’!” She looked up fondly at the placement of the few that were strung up so far.  
“Mistletoe is just a decoration! Only, the catch is, if you’re caught standing under it with someone…”  
She smiled mischievously as Karkat cautiously awaited the explanation.  
  
“…You gotta kiss ‘em!”  
  
He didn’t particularly know how to respond to that but the look on his face must have said a lot since it left Jade laughing a bit.  
  
“Okay, there is no fucking way you weren’t 100% setting up shenanigans to happen while EVERYONE was here.” Karkat stated. Their conversation was just one in the room full of voices, and room full of unsuspecting potential victims of “”“mistletoe”“”.  
  
“John’s not the only one with a prankster’s gambit, you know! Runs in the family, hehe. I think he’d be pretty proud! Speaking of which, I haven’t seen him all day! I wonder where—”  
“PARTY’S HERE!”  
A small gust of wind entered the room before the boy who had only just been mentioned did.  
  
“Woahhh, careful!” Tavros called from the top of the ladder as all three of them wobbled.  
  
“John!!” Jade yelled.  
“LOOK OUT!”  
Alas, it was too late- as John flew into the cozy, decorated room, which was now filled with panicked voices, the gust he left behind him was enough to tip the ladder off balance and send the trolls plummeting to the floor, ladder in tow.  
Within the second, Jade quickly grabbed Karkat and attempted to dive out of the way, but to no avail.  
  
As the crash finally quieted, the room was filled with silence in tense anticipation for the fate of their damaged friends in the wreck.  
  
A small, painful pile of Nepeta, Gamzee and Tavros laid together further under the ladder, while a certain nubby horned troll and decorative christmas girl lie further up.  
Jade was lying across Karkat’s lap, while he attempted to sit back up.  
  
A box covered his head.  
  
But not just any box, oh no.  
  
 _It was a box full of fucking mistletoe.  
_  
He sat up and gratingly pulled the box off, throwing it to the side. He looked to Tavros, who had been helped up by Gamzee and was currently assisting Nepeta. It didn’t look like anyone had been hurt too badly.  
  
The room was still quiet as he lowly growled;  
“I hate Christmas, I hate this  _ladder_ -” he roughly pushed it off of himself and Jade, and directed his daggering glare to John. “And I hate YOU _._ ” he yelled in finality. Jade groaned and lifted herself up slightly.  
  
“Jade, are you alright?” He frantically asked the girl who lay across his legs.  
“Yeah.. yeah I’m fine but—” she straightened her glasses, which were hit slightly askew on her face, and looked up at Karkat with a pause.  
She stifled laughter.  
“What?”  
She giggled more.  
“WHAT the in the absolute fuck could possibly be funny right now?" He threw his arms.  
"Is this funny to you, Jade? Does my suffering make you smile? Have I spread enough 'Christmas joy' through my never ending torment? I GUESS THAT'S OKAY, BECAUSE, GEE, IF IT MADE JADE HARLEY LAUGH, THEN JOY! FUCKING RAPTUR--”  
“Karkat..” she looked at the troll boy who was completely covered in mistletoe, one of them sticking to the ball of his hat.  
She playfully batted the ball in front of his face.  
  
“….”  
“OH.”  
He lifted it up away from his eyes and blinked.  
There was a pause and Karkat could feel the nervous tension creeping up from the silence and onto his face, but Jade just smiled.  
“… UH-“  
Without hesitation, Jade lightly cupped the side of his face and brought her lips to his cheek,  
  
and kissed him.  
  
There were miniature gasps and ‘woo!’s and laughter spread about the room that made the whole place cheer again while Karkat sat with the most dumbfounded expression and reddening cheeks hoping that no one was taking pictures but just as the very thought crossed his mind he heard the click of a camera and fuck you Terezi.  
  
As Jade pulled away she laughed and gave him a hug, which Karkat did not hesitate to return this time and wrapped his arms around her, sweaters together, faces squished in a big, fuzzy embrace.  
  
“I guess you fell into the trap,” Jade said with a smile that, if Karkat read correctly, was almost bashful?  
“Yeah, I guess I did.” He cleared his throat and hoped there wasn’t a smile too big on his, but there definitely was and this might have been one of the worst moments ever if it weren’t one of the best.  
As everyone returned to their (much more spirited) conversations and helped to clean up, Jade finally let go and helped herself and Karkat back up.  
  
“So, do you still hate Christmas?” She nudged him, gazing at him with her big, bright, unignorable eyes.  
  
He took hold of the ball of his Human-Christmas hat and lightly plucked the still-clinging mistletoe off and looked at it for a moment. Smiling gently, he replied;  
  
“NOT..Nearly as much.”  
  
He slid the dumb leaf decoration in the white rim of her own hat, unable to keep the grin off his face as he did so.  
As they walked away together, Karkat couldn’t decide what he hated more- dumb human traditions, or the fact that he’d never be able to live down how brightly he was beaming.   
  
He linked arms with her.  
He couldn’t have asked for a better Christmas gift.


End file.
